3 Months

It has been 3 months since Jared was born. They have been the best 3 months of my life!

He has grown so much, he smiles, laughs, he talks, he does a lot of things that shows me how much he is growing up. It kind of makes me sad because I know that at a certain age he is going to tell me that he hates me or that I am a mean mother, and all that nasty stuff teenagers say to their parents, but I know when he does its because I'm doing a good job as a mother. I never understood the unconditional love my mom has for me until know. She always told me "vas a ver cuando seas madre" (you'll see when you become a mother) I didn't know what she was talking about. I do know.

I will always be grateful that God gave me a child, all I ever wanted since I got married was a baby, took us two years and now I have MY FIRST BABY.

Jared started holding his bottle, he always stares at me when I feed him and that stare is deep, its like I've seen those eyes before and they were the one thing missing in my life. I don't know how to explain it. Jared is wearing size 6-12 months, he is a big boy. For his 2 month check up he weight 15 lbs 5oz and measured 25 inch. His diaper size is 3 so we are good on that. He has been drooling a lot, and his teeth are actually coming out, you can see them when he laughs. He loves when i say "ahh boo" he laughs so hard when I do it, he has the most beautiful laugh I've ever heard.

He also likes when I kiss his little feet, I think it tickles him because he laughs.

Another thing that makes him laugh is when he bounce him in our arms, he likes it more when Justin does it. Jared started sleeping in his crib which is a good thing, but it kind of makes me sad that he doesn't sleep with in the bed, so there is times were I pick him up and lay him next to me :)

He is sleeping through the night, he taught him self. 

He wakes up at 7 Am I change his diaper, feed him 5 oz than he likes to play for about two hours and he takes a 30-45 minute nap, after that he wakes up at 9 almost 10 and by then he is hungry so I make him 4 oz sometimes he doesn't finish all 4 and than another diaper change. Than Jared and I play for two hours and he takes a 20-30 minute nap wakes up at 11:30, we watch a little netflix for about 45 minutes than I put him down so he can do tummy time and we play some more,at 1pm he gets fuzzy so I change his diaper and feed him 4 oz and he falls asleep for four hours sometimes five and then its either bath time or leg day :) at 7-7:30 he gets another 4 Oz and falls asleep for the night.

That is what our day looks likes, in between naps I was his bottles, eat do laundry or just sit an relax, sometimes I nap with him.

First Time Mom

I always knew I could be a great mom! I obviously did not know what was expected of me.
The first few days of Jared's life was in the hospital because he was born with jaundice and his level of jaundice kept going up. The reason for that is because Jared and I have different blood type.
I felt guilty, I hated being the reason why my baby kept getting poked with needles! Jared did latch immediately but sadly my milk supply was very low. That broke me down! I couldn't do the most important thing for my son, which was feed him. I cried and cried because nothing was working for him! After the third day they told us we could leave, but we had a follow up with his pediatrician. I was excited to go home and sleep in my bed and not having nagging nurses make me feel like a crappy mother because I couldn't breastfeed my son. Seriously they should have been much more nicer with that! After we got home I tried to feed him and nothing was coming out, I took a really hot shower so my milk supply could increase and it didn't work. I pumped and wouldn't even get 1 oz. After a while we had to get him formula. I was so against it that every time I would give him a bottle I cried. I would hand him over to my mom and break down, it was literally hurting me so much that I couldn't breastfeed my son! Justin was so amazing with me, he would hug me and tell me that it was okay, even if he didn't know how I felt he made me feel better! He helped me get through that! I was in a dark place! I felt broken, I felt like I was useless because I couldn't do the one thing I was meant to do! It was such a horrible feeling! After a week of pumping I was starting to make 1 oz. That made me so happy! But that didn't last long. It stopped so I gave up. I was a failure. Than my husbands cousin Jessica told me about some pills that would help, and they really did help a lot! I was finally breastfeeding my son, it brought so much joy in my heart. We did that for maybe two weeks after that he decided he no longer wanted breast milk, but I was okay with that. I had my two weeks with him and it was better than nothing! Sometimes I still get a little depressed but I'm better at forgetting about it now.