I always wanted to be a mom. At a certain age I stopped wanting that, I got scared of getting heartburn, having swollen feet, and the most scary part delivering the baby!
Once I got married all I wanted was to get pregnant, for a whole year we got nothing but negative pregnancy test, and that does something to you! It messes with your head so bad. I would get in a funk every time I got a negative. I felt like there was something wrong with me. It got to the point were I would cry and my husband would have to hug me and tell me that it wasn't time.
After a whole year of negative results we finally got a big POSITIVE, it was honestly the best day of my life. Once we told our parents I wanted to tell everyone but I didn't, we told our families and then Facebook. After a few weeks I started to think about what it means to be a mother.
I got lucky and got the most amazing mother anyone could ask for, she's my best friend. My mother has always been there for me, she helped me with so much and never gave up on me when I started misbehaving. She always told me what was right and wrong. We went through some really bad situations on our own and she always found a way to get us out of them. I can honestly say she's perfect in my eyes! With that been said, I got scared that I wouldn't be as great of a mother as she has been. I started thinking about what I have to give up.. I started to realize that being a mom is not just having a baby. It's about raising that baby and being the best example you can be, its about you giving most of your time to a new born who is going to depend of you.
Its scary to think that it is no longer about yourself but about another human being.
I got scared that I wasn't going to be able to handle it, but after 6 months of being pregnant I've realized that I CAN DO IT, that I will be an amazing mother to our son.
That no matter what anyone thinks Jared Chancellor Castillo is going to have the best mother, and he has his abuelita Rocio to thank for that.
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ReplyDeleteHad a typo in my earlier comment so...anyways, just wanted to say motherhood is in your nature so it may be challenging but that makes it super rewarding. Also, you got all of us fam and friends to cheer you on, or be frustrated with you, or cry with you or whatever you need us to do because mothers gots to stick together.
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